Sincerely can’t wait to be off-campus
& not live in a dorm/have a ROOMmate/be woken up at 9:30 every morning by loud people/worry about when it’s okay to not have pants on
a whole year of this nonsense is fucking ridiculous
so tonight I’m actually behaving like my demographic stereotype
& procrastinating by looking at hairstyles on pinterest. I don’t even have a pinterest. What is this.
+This is a post. About feelings.
This might sound pretty preachy, but it genuinely bothers me when I see nice guys fall into the mindset of, essentially, treating girls like commodities to be scored & not taken seriously. It’s not really because it affects me. I’m more than used to that at this point in life. It’s one of the reasons I’m glad I’m not home. Home is different than it is here. Here I’m taken seriously as a person with equal stake in matters. At home…I’m really not on a lot of levels. I don’t know what it is really, I can never pinpoint it but it’s definitely there. The vibes & the people are all different.
But honestly what bothers me more is what I perceive to almost be a waste of good potential in a person. Are they just trying to fit in? To emulate something that’s been projected upon them after growing up in such a climate? There are so many messages about what being “masculine” should be, after all. In this particular case, are they just a good actor? Do they genuinely feel that way? Are they fooling me? I don’t know. I consider myself a very good judge of the core of someone’s character, so I just don’t like seeing people I perceive to be overall nice channeling such negativity.
I don’t know if this makes any sense. I don’t know if I’m delusional or if people can be nice people internally but still be assholes on the surface. I mean, it makes sense to me, but I don’t know if I’m just naive & things are more absolute with these kind of things. But that just doesn’t sound right. I just want to believe people aren’t bad through & through. If they treat people that way & my impression is positive in other remarks, I have a hard time accepting that they genuinely feel that way or aren’t just doing it with other motives in mind. I’ve been wrong before, that’s sure. And hurt before because of this. But I find myself more sympathetic in the overall experience.
I honestly don’t know.
reflections on spring break
- I bought a Duluth Pack & now my life is pretty much complete.
- Next time I get sushi I think I’m going to try a small amount of fish. But we’ll see (it’s been over 5 years since I’ve touched meat of any kind so this might just be a shit show).
- Job hunting sucks.
- (But not as much as city driving)
- Boyfriend is awesome though.
- Will travel further next year. For real.
paper writing motto?
“3-5 pages” = write 3 & a half but you better make it real good.
( I think this was accomplished tonight )
good weekend, I guess
Went to a party at the house I’m living at next year. Had a good time. Saw John Hodgman too! Procrastinated a lot & slept & snuggled & such. Now I’m attempting reading on the Civil Rights Movement while listening to Sufjan. Busy last couple weeks. Alright, alright, no more Tumblr.
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